Tuesday, August 23, 2005


By Tweed

The Bush administration announced today that the number of anti-american traitors living in the United States now exceeds the number of patriots. Citing presidential approval tracking polls, the administration claims that there is now indisputable evidence that "traitorism" is on the rise.

Millions of americans now place themselves at risk of being rounded up as "material witnesses" or "undesireables," a new classification the administration created under its authority under the Patriot Act.

Conservative commentators have been warning of the trend for months, including Fox News sexaholic Bill O'Reilly:

"And on a final note, let's talk about Cindy Sheehan and her communist buddies in the democratic party - I mean, come on! How can we live in a country that allows treason to run rampent, and to sanction it within one of the major political parties. Remember, for fair and balanced reporting, tune into the no-spin zone. I'm Bill O'Reilly."

In related news, a Survey USA poll out this afternoon indicates that Nixon's corpse would beat George Bush in a presidential contest by 7 percentage points.

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