Friday, August 26, 2005


By Tweed

Bad Vernacular has learned that President Bush is extending his vacation for an additional two weeks. The president will be taking time away from replanting the brush he previously cleared to visit historic, Washington D.C., and to take a White House tour.

In addition, the President will spend time at Smithsonian Museum of Natural History, where the President hopes to be able to pet some hissing cockroaches. When asked about the trip, the President noted that he was excited to go: "They told me we'd go to Arlington cemetary, and I - you know that Texas looks far away, but Arlington's right across a river? Don't know how that is, but Roosevelt Island sure looks bigger on maps!"

But the vacation is not without controversy.

The Bush family is scheduled to be on a White House tour, which is one of Washington's most sought after attractions and usually requires bookings well in advance. How the Bushes obtained their tickets may turn into a fall scandal.

Bad Vernacular has discovered that Karl Rove placed a call to one of the tour operators, one Vince Callahan, and threatened to reveal to the press that his wife was working undercover with the CIA unless the Bushes got onto the tour. "I told Mr. Rove that there wasn't nothin' I could do," Mr. Callahan told Bad Vernacular investigators, "that I just schedule times and not bookings, and that I wasn't married, but that my sister worked as a clerk at the CVS on 14th and New York and some Pakistanis worked there too - and if that's what he meant, that I was OK with it. So then he asks if she could get some film developed for him."

The President plans to bring his mountain bike.

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