Wednesday, January 12, 2005


By Stockton

In a recent interview with the Washington Times, President Bush declared that he doesn't:

"see how you can be president without a relationship with the Lord."

Bad Vernacular has recently learned that The United States Department of Education has paid the Lord $240,000 for that relationship. The Lord has denied any wrongdoing. "It's something I believe in and would have done anyway."

Critics claim the monetary exchange is unethical, especially since the Lord has not disclosed the payment to his believers. "I told Allah, Jehovah and Kali about the money when I urged them to meet with George," said the Lord. "I'm not sure if I told anyone else."

Despite claims of a close, personal relationship, sources close to the President say the two meet only occasionally. "Usually it's after a coke or bourbon bender," said one anonymous White House source. "Then George is like, 'I have to find God again'. It's kind of pathetic."

The White House denies any close ties between the President and the Education Department. "I didn't even know we had one of them," said the President.

The Lord has refused to return the money.

The President, demonstrating his relationship with the Lord

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