Saturday, December 18, 2004


Are you a Fundamentalist Christian? Feel like you're shirking your scriptural duty in spreading The Word and converting those damned to the infernal regions? Fear not. Join Bad Vernacular's Crusade to the Mid-East.

Here's your opportunity to sell your worldly possessions and hit the road, just like Jesus. You will experience the thrill of converting thousands in such exotic locales as Beirut, Damascus, Baghdad and Tehran.

Imagine; You, alone, armed only with your Bible and Faith, going door-to-door in such places as Aleppo, Medina, Cairo, Tabriz and Khartoum. Now you'll have the chance to demonstrate your true faith by heeding the call of Fundamentalism.

For becoming a BV Future-Martyr, you'll receive a free, year-long subscription to Bad Vernacular and a tote bag. Don't waste another second. Become a martyr today!

To join, simply leave your name, address, phone number and your destination of choice and we will get back to you as soon as possible. Future-Martyrs from Ohio, Florida, Nevada and New Mexico get our preferred rate and could be walking through downtown Jeddah in less than a week. Good Luck and God Bless.

Brought to you by HandzOff, the Anti-Masturbatory Gum

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